


Impossible Promise

by chronicAngel



Series: Leaves in the Summer [12]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Drabble, Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, POV Third Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-03-10 13:04:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13502144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chronicAngel/pseuds/chronicAngel
Summary: She realizes as they stand there in the middle of a bar, her on unsteady legs and him trying to be her rock, that she does trust Jiraiya to bring back one of the only people left in the world she can bring herself to care about.





	Impossible Promise

She rests her head on her arms, her eyes still stinging and her throat still burning from the events of the last thirty six hours, and she wishes that she were able to go to sleep.

"Have you been here all night?" He sighs. She drags her head up to glare at him, standing in the doorway of the mostly empty bar that she has indeed been occupying since she woke up in the middle of the woods almost twelve hours after chasing her former teammate. She's sickeningly well-rested because of it and though her temples throb with a headache from just how much she has been crying, she can't keep her eyes closed for more than a couple of minutes. She doesn't answer him aloud because they both already know the answer.

She is not an alcoholic. She goes drinking once a week with her former teammates and has since Jiraiya's twentieth birthday almost two decades ago, and occasionally will crack into a bottle of sake that has been gifted to her by a friend for some recent accomplishment. As a matter of fact, she is thirty eight and this is her first time drinking alone in her entire life.

It's not the only poor decision she can say she's made in the past day. The Hokage and Jiraiya were both already aware of Orochimaru's defection, and the moment she woke up from his betrayal, she headed to the nearest bar and hasn't left since. Her blood feels like it is boiling in her veins in the most pleasant yet unsatisfying way.

She can barely sit up, but at the very least she can say that Orochimaru is not at the front of her mind. Or he wasn't until a moment ago. "I know you're not..." He starts and then trails off, giving her a severe look. She doesn't think he's ever looked at her with so much pity in their lives and she is tempted to drive her fist into his face just so things will feel like they're normal again, but she thinks that so soon after everything was completely flipped upside down it would just feel wrong. Eventually, he tries again. "I'm not going to make you talk to me, Tsunade."

"Like you could," she mutters, and finally returns her face to where it was cradled in her arms before he arrived. Jiraiya stays quiet, simply sitting with her while she refuses to admit that his presence is some comfort for her, though being with her remaining teammate largely serves to remind her of the absence of the other. At noon, they are the only people in the bar (the only drinking establishment she's ever heard of that's open this early in the day) and the bartender continues to shoot them glares while Jiraiya orders food just often enough that he can't justify kicking them out. It's a wise strategy; probably much wiser than her strategy of continually ordering and throwing back drinks, time of the day be damned. The middle of the afternoon is just the same as late evening to her when Orochimaru is gone.

"I don't know what he meant to you," he starts in the attempt to fill the quiet. Jiraiya has never liked long silences, and was always so _loud_ just to bridge the gaps left by them.

By her and Orochimaru. The two who cared much less for social interaction than Jiraiya did. The two who had to be dragged out to bars even if they did both enjoy drinking, and who would always sneak away to a corner and watch Jiraiya like exhausted parents trying to keep their kid out of trouble. Somehow, he always managed to find himself in it anyway, though she's never considered it a personal failing; not like Orochimaru's leaving is.

She doesn't have time to be sad before he's continuing. "But I'm gonna get him back." The words make her eyes widen and her breath hitch, because it's such an impossible promise and she knows Jiraiya. She knows that he will die before he will break it.

"You don't have to do that," she finds herself saying, but it feels more like hearing someone else speak with her voice. She still feels too far off, unsure if it's the alcohol or Jiraiya's sudden assertion affecting her in such a way.

"Of course I do," he replies, sounding indignant. "He was-- _is_ my teammate. My friend. I can't just abandon him." She feels a familiar pinching sensation in her eyes but can't find it in herself to care at the moment, continuing to stare at him with wide eyes as she waits for him to process how big a promise he is making. She's never known Jiraiya to break promises, and is terrified by just how big this one is. "Plus, I've gotta knock some sense into him for making you cry," he adds, grinning at her.

She huffs a laugh. It's so very like Jiraiya to say something as dumb as that during such a serious moment, and she can't help the rising relief that at least this hasn't changed, though she doesn't pound a fist into his skull like she normally would for any insinuation that she can't handle herself. She sniffs, though if he notices he doesn't say anything, and curls her hands into fists against the surface of the table so she can push herself to stand. Wobbling on her feet, she lets herself lean on him when he stands as well but doesn't let him say anything about it. She realizes as they stand there in the middle of a bar, her on unsteady legs and him trying to be her rock, that she does trust Jiraiya to bring back one of the only people left in the world she can bring herself to care about. "Okay," she breathes, and doesn't specify what she's talking about.


End file.
